Weather Balloon Pops on Private Property

By Phillip Rodriguez

Earlier this week wreckage from a downed weather balloon was gathered and taken to Anderson Air Force Base, in Big Pine, to find out exactly what caused this malfunction.

Sheriff Gunderson, who has fenced off portions of Libbydale Farms where the balloon went down, has headed up the operation since early last week and was kind enough to fill us in.

“Helluva mess, lemme tell you. I didn't realize these weather balloons were as sizable as this one was..Lots of man-hours on this cleanup. Glad for us to be washing our hands of it and passing it on to more capable men, so they can see what went wrong here.”

The King Falls Gazette tried contacting representatives of Anderson Air Force Base for further comment but could not be reached.  

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Shenanigans At Tree Lighting? A Closer Look

by Lee Black

The annual tree lighting ceremony is an event that most King Falls residents look forward to every year; it's planned months in advance and the whole town shows up for the tree, the food and the fun. This year, the honor of lighting the ceremonial tree was to fall to radio personality Ben Arnold, of The Sammy & Ben Show at King Falls AM.  

While the ceremony always has a good turnout, it was even more anticipated this year due to the lack of christmas trees in most peoples home. Rumors of a reclusive billionaire purchasing all of the real trees at the beginning of the holiday season, left residents tree-less and wanting. 

On December 16th, not one resident of King Falls recalls going to the tree lighting ceremony. Brett Mavin, head of the King Falls Parks & Recreation department, reports that the location of the event appears to have had a large gathering. "The usual trash and debris that we are dispatched to clean was there, all over the grounds. But I didn't go, and no one on my crew did either!" commented Mavin. 

The only person who claims to have any knowledge of the event is the co-host of the late night radio show, Sammy Stevens. Stevens claims that "the entire town was there singing and dancing." However he also admits that he was not at the event, but instead was "broadcasting from the station" the entire night. 

"Stevens has done nothing but attempt to stir up trouble and cause drama since he came to our little town," a representative from the mayors office stated when they were contacted for comment. "Perhaps 'Shotgun Sammy' has brought some big city drugs to King Falls when he came, causing him to hallucinate things that don't really exist. Maybe an investigation needs to be opened?" However, the representative had no comment when asked why the even did not go as planned.

Local TV affiliate Channel 3, who simulcasts the event with King Falls AM yearly, also had no television footage of the incident. 

Shep Greene, manager of Channel 3 told us "The feeds came back all snowy. The set up was there, but I'll be damned if we have a lick of footage on it. It's the strangest thing. " 

Could it be an entire town visited and forgot about one of it's most anticipated yearly events?

Hell, even this reporter was heading down to the Main Street park to watch but only remembers eating at the weird Food Truck then waking up in my apartment with a swollen ankle and tummy aches. 

In fact, the only verifiable event that took place on the night of December 15th was the spray painting vandalism of baby Jesus in the town Nativity scene. If you or anyone you know has any clues or tips as to the vandals identity, please contact the King Falls Sheriff Department. 

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Fire at Ernie's Mufflers; Possible Insurance Scam?

By Phillip Rodriguez

New light is being shed on last week's blaze at King Falls' favorite Muffler Shop, Ernie's Mufflers. Some within the community even have reason to believe this could be an elaborate insurance scam by the absconded owner, Ernie Salcedo, himself. 

"You've got a car that, by all definitions, should not run. You've got a local small business that's barely making ends meet, with the owner, from what I've heard, bein' a prime suspect in a murder case and on the lamb. You tell me. Does it look suspicious?" Said Armchair Insurance Investigator Andrew Goetz. 

A stolen 1977 Pontiac Trans AM turned into a fireball that Michael Bay would be proud of, when it smashed through the plate glass window of the muffler shop in the early morning hours of the 15th. 

"I mean, no workers were there. Nobody was in the car. It's the perfect storm. The reason is there. Nobody was gonna get hurt. This looks less like an 'accident' than my third kid, Teresa!"  exclaimed Goetz. 

Reagan Spears, an F.B.I. agent working a completely separate case, reached out to The Gazette to see if she could be of service. 

"While I'm pleased no one was hurt in the muffler shop blaze, I'm baffled by the fact that the owner, one mister Ernie Salcedo, hasn't been heard from since the attack. I mean, mishap. Don't write attack." Spears noted in a soothing monotone. 

All this speculation comes after Jacob Williams was cleared of the possible arson by the King Falls Sheriff's Office. We reached out to Mr. Williams however he could not be located for comment. 

In any case, dear readers, please stay away from Ernie's Mufflers as it is an on-going crime scene until further notice. And on a completely unrelated note, if you should happen to run into Mr. Ernie Salcedo, please reach out to Ms. Spears at the Twin Pines Inn. 

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Be Afraid of The Dark ... or Not.

By Linda Miles

After the big July 4th fireworks had disappeared, as well as the headaches from the respective Mayoral Candidate shindigs, I was sitting at home, trying to relax and work through a food-induced coma when I got a text from my coworker, Phillip Rodriguez. He said that there were a series of strange thwarted robberies, scattered throughout downtown over the long holiday weekend.  

You can read about those in the Police Blotter, here in the Gazette. But that's not what has me so intrigued. 

We're a small town. Things like this are absolutely not the norm. Whether it be our amazing local law enforcement or just a lot of good-natured folks living in and around town, this just isn't an every day occurrence. 

So for multiple robberies to happen, not to mention go awry, it's definitely suspect. 

I dug deeper. I found out from a local source (name withheld) who had been accosted, and then reached out to the almost-victims. 

The two people, one female and one male, decided to stay in the shadows and of course were shaken up, however both had a very similar experience and just days apart. 

The gentleman woke up to noises downstairs. Peering outside from an upstairs window, he saw a man, picking his backdoor's lock and opening the door to enter the premise. He grabbed his cellphone and locked his bedroom door and made a frantic call to the King Falls Sheriff's Department. 

While on the phone, another man dressed in all black, wearing a mask, hopped his fence and bounded into his home through the open back door. 

"I heard what sounded like a scuffle. Glass breaking, which was my living room coffee table. Then silence. I was terrified. That's when I heard it." my John Doe told me, shaking and reliving the frightening moment. 

"I heard a voice say, like, really raspy. ' Be Afraid ... Be Afraid of The Dark' and then running footsteps." When Deputy Troy Krieghauser arrived at the scene, he was impressed that John Doe not only stopped the robbery but tied up the robber himself. Of course, that wasn't done by John Doe at all, but The Dark.  

My Jane Doe was walking her dog, Fi Doe let's call him, out around the Main Street Park around dusk on Sunday. She felt a tug at her shoulder and watched a man running away from her, her purse dangling from his hands. 

"I was on my phone not paying attention and then I felt this jerking motion down my arm. Then I noticed the creep sprinting away from me. Literally, before I could call out. Before I could open my mouth to yell at this guy. A man, dressed in all black. Mask and everything, came out of the bushes and just trucked this guy. Knocked him out of his shoes!" Jane told me excitedly. 

She ran to catch up and get a better look, but by the time Jane arrived to the fracas, all was over but the crying. 

"The jerk was in tears. The masked man laid a karate-type beating on him and ziptied his hands to a park bench. He threw my purse to me, smiled and gruffly said 'Be afraid of the dark.' I called the cops and they took the purse-snatching ass away but kinda laughed about my masked hero. But I'm not laughing. I'm thankful."

A masked vigilante roaming the streets and alley's of King Falls? Apparently local radio station, King Falls AM, received a call similar to this a few months back as well. Another thwarted robbery. Another "Be afraid of The Dark."

There's more to this story. I'm going to keep digging until my spidey senses subside. Have you or someone you know encountered the masked man calling himself The Dark? If so, we should talk. Until then stay safe and aware of your surroundings. 

But be afraid of the dark? Not in this reporter's book. 

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A Public Plea

by Sammy Stevens

It's been, by far, the roughest stretch of time I've personally had in King Falls, this past month or so. With the on-air disappearance of our dear friend Emily Potter on, of all nights, our Anniversary, things have went from bad to worse.

I'm not the type to air laundry out to dry in public, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried. My co-host, and more importantly, my best friend, Ben Arnold, has not been heard from since leaving the radio station the morning of May 15th.

No calls.

No texts.

Not answering his door.

While I, and I'm sure the listeners, appreciate Mr. Chet Sebastian's willingness to step up to bat and pull some doubles while Ben is away, it's just not the same. Especially with these dark circumstances swirling overhead.

I'm making a plea here, as I've done nightly on-air, that if anyone should run into Ben, or even just see him around town, please ask him to give the station a call.

As you know, the kid is in a bad way, understandably so, but I just want to know that he's safe and not doing anything crazy.

I appreciate all the calls, tweets, and messages you've sent to us at King Falls AM, the positive vibes and prayers can't hurt either. Ben, if you can read this, or read my numerous text messages, just let us know you're alright buddy.

Take care of yourself.

Your friend,
Sammy

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Crime Scene Cover Up?

by Phillip Rodriguez

A lot has been said about May 1st's disappearance of King Falls librarian Emily Potter, and while I usually have a pinch of snark to go along with my journalism at the Gazette, I just want it to be known that all of us here at the paper are hoping, praying and sending positive vibes out for Ms. Potter's safe return.

We receive a lot of tips here at the paper. More than you'd imagine for a small-town print palace such as ourselves, but we do. Most are just apparition sightings, pranks or people bitching about the roundabout on Tippet Avenue. But this reporter came into something a bit different this morning.

I received an anonymous tip overnight about a disturbance over the weekend at the Emily Potter Crime Scene off of Route 72 heading into town. Apparently multiple people drove past the area saying that a disturbed man, fitting the description of a certain King Falls radio personality was seen, past the crime tape, in the middle of quarantined area, yelling up at the sky.

Another tip that came in a little later said that they witnessed a King Falls Sheriff Patrol Car at the scene as well, however after checking the incident reports and scanner reports, I couldn't find a word about this incident anywhere.

Of course these tips named who they seemingly saw as they motored past, and being the journalist that I am, I'd be remiss to reach out to the aforementioned personality.

However, I didn't do that. I did not reach out.

The poor man has gone through enough. If you're a listener of that particular show, his behavior has been much different the past week, so much so that it's even hard to tell it's him. He's a shell of his former self. He's hurting and it's not my place to add to that.

It's my job to report on the news and to add a little sass to it's ass, as I see fit. But there are lines. Lines of decency. And when you see a fellow human, not just someone in the media but a fellow human friggin' being, hurting, you don't add to it.

I wish more media outlets thought like that.

So as for the disturbance out on 72 over the weekend, I can't confirm that it happened. I can't deny that it happened. What I can say is that there is a still-active crime scene on Route 72, where Ms. Emily Potter's car was found, and that I implore you to stay away from it as the good men and women of the King Falls Sheriff's Department still have investigating to do. 

Happy Sammiversary, King Falls!

by Ben Arnold

Ladies and gents, boy do I have some big, big news for the listeners of King Falls AM!

Which if you aren't listening, (but let's be real, YOU ARE) then you'll know that I'm the co-host of The Sammy & Ben Show weeknights from 2am -6am!

Co-Host. Can you believe that? I know a lot of you folks that read the Gazette have been around me all my life; we grew up together, went to school together, or maybe we met as I was working my way up from intern to producer for Chet Sebastian here at the station. The point is, we know each other, and unless you're a certain frog-based restaurateur or a Lord Vampire's lead gardener, that means we are probably friends.

So think about that: Little Ben Arnold going from shy bookworm kid to producer of the top rated Jazz program in the Tri State area and now to on-air host of a call in talk show!

And honestly, I owe so much of that to my co-host, Sammy Stevens.

This guy arrived out of the blue after conversations with Merv that none of us knew anything about. Diamond Dave was leaving the station after a lifetime of being here and nobody knew what was gonna happen in our coveted late-night spot.

Then Sammy Stevens happened and it changed myself, the station, and I'd go so far as to say the entire town for the better.

Sure, there's been issues: like the fact that the guy is a bit ... stuffy when it comes to the paranormal (or normal for King Falls) things that go on, but he's getting better. Sammy's run-in's with the town government is a thing, but you know what, maybe Sammy is shedding a little light on some hijinks that went on behind our backs for quite some time that we should care about.

With all change, there are growing pains, and this was a big change for Sammy. And for me. But I'm so happy he came along when he did. I look back at the almost year we've spent together, doing nights on 660AM and I couldn't imagine a world where we DON'T do what we do. And I'm so thankful for that.

Even though Sammy is getting a bit moody about me making a big deal about the Anniversary (Sammiversary, let's make it happen guys) on May 1st's broadcast, I know he feels the same too, he's just too modest to let me do this properly, but believe me, I'm doing it properly anyway and the May 1st show WILL BE HUGE!

So if you should happen to see Sammy out and about town this week, or if you have some free time to call in, be sure to tell that guy how you feel about him being here too. As always hit us up on Twitter or your social media of choice, give us a call 424-279-3858, but most importantly, be sure to tune in on May 1st to celebrate with us!

HAPPY SAMMIVERSARY, KING FALLS!

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