Local Weatherman Begins Stint in Rehab

By Duff Dillinger

Storm Sanders, Channel 13 on-air personality and lead weatherman, was seen earlier today entering the Big Pine Rehab Facility under his own volition.

Channel 13 representatives would not comment on the matter. However King Falls AM radio host, and anti-Channel 13 enthusiast, Ben Arnold was more than happy to comment on the situation.

"I think it's a publicity stunt. Absolutely!" Arnold stated with unabashed glee over the phone.

"Look, the guy had a very public meltdown on television. Showed symptoms of either drunkenness or an ancient Hatchenaw curse, you be the judge, and then miraculously you guys get tipped off that he's entering rehab up in Big Pine? Those shysters at 13 are just trying to avoid FCC fines."

While Storm Sanders has been known to enjoy the King Falls nightlife, it is not certain if he has indeed been possessed by "Skinwalkers"

Only time will tell.

@KingFallsAM
@KingFallsSammy
@KingFallsTroy
iTunes

King Falls AM is trending on audioBoom and is an iTunes New & Noteworthy Podcast
Please REVIEW, RATE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE your favorite lonely mountain AM Talk Radio show with any people or apparitions that might enjoy it!

Mayor Grisham Signs Off On "Lincoln's Revenge" Library Repairs

By Duff Dillinger

After almost two weeks of heated debate, Mayor Grisham has finally agreed to use public funds to repair the East Wing of the King Falls Public Library. The library was damaged during an on-air "stunt" gone awry, when King Falls AM's Ben Arnold was hosting a duo of popular television presenters, Larry & Dan, from the show Mission: Apparition.

"The Mayor keeps calling this a stunt, but if he didn't have his head ... where it didn't belong, he could listen to the playback and realize that Ben, Ms. Emily Potter, Dan & Larry from Mission: Apparition were attacked. By spirits." said late-night talk show host, and paranormal skeptic, Sammy Stevens.

During an on-air interview November 15th, local librarian Emily Potter says she witnessed the spirit of presidential assassin, John Wilkes Booth lift her "good friend Ben" up into the air "at least ten feet" while choking him before throwing him down and flying away from fellow apparition, former President Abraham Lincoln. While the incident happened live and uninterrupted on King Falls AM, the video of the attack, taken by Larry of Mission: Apparition, was destroyed during an exchange of ghost gatling gunfire as the television team hurried from the building.

Though Dan & Larry couldn't be reached for an official comment, a representative from Spook TV says they will speak at length about their experience in King Falls in a future episode of the show. The popular hosts were in town for an interview and investigation of the King Falls Public Library upon the request of Sammy & Ben.

Ben Arnold defended himself today through text, saying "I could have shown them any number of paranormal places in town, you guys know, but of course I would take them to the King Falls Library. Where else are you going to run into the apparition of not only the 16th President of The United States but also his assassin! This wasn't about impressing my girlfriend. Not that Emily is my girlfriend. I mean, she's a girl, that's happens to be a friend. A good friend. You know what I'm saying. Don't quote this!"

Not everyone has taken the damage, which is said to be in the thousands of dollars, as lightly as the possibly love-struck co-host.

"Look, these morons are let loose on our fair town and they leave a trail of havoc every step of the way. I don't believe that our taxpayer's hard-earned money should go to picking up their tab. However, I can't see punishing the townspeople by keeping the East Wing of the library in disarray while these chuckleheads have to do a Kickstarter to cleanup ghost bullets." Mayor Grisham exclaimed on the steps of city hall.

While there has been no love lost between the hosts at King Falls AM and the Mayor, Grisham states "I couldn't let the faults of a few, hurt the needs of the many" and signed off on repairs that will fix the damaged walls, tables and books from what locals are dubbing "Lincoln's Revenge".

The library is set to reopen to the public Monday November 30th, after the long holiday weekend.

@KingFallsAM
@KingFallsSammy
@KingFallsTroy
iTunes

King Falls AM is trending on audioBoom and is an iTunes New & Noteworthy Podcast
Please REVIEW, RATE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE your favorite lonely mountain AM Talk Radio show with any people or apparitions that might enjoy it!

Happy Halloween from King Falls AM!

The following is an online editorial written by Sammy Stevens, co-host of King Falls AM's Sammy & Ben Show. It does not express the views or belief's of The King Falls Gazette or it's staff.

Now I know what you're thinking, King Falls does not like today. Halloween is not a favorite. But where I come from this is a fun day. Awesome costumes, scary movies, trick or treating and of course hearing Thriller every hour on the hour from all the other radio stations.

But you guys aren't fans. I guess if you dealt with the real bumps in the night, apparitions and other spooky stuff year round, maybe Halloween wouldn't be that fun after all . Also, Ben, please note that isn't me admitting that every damn thing that happens here is legit.

All I'm saying is, that no matter what you do today, celebrating a harmless, fun & possibly inappropriately dressed holiday or otherwise, is have fun & be safe.

I've got the fun-sized candy bars here at Casa de Stevens if you come ring the doorbell kiddies, but come 9pm the porch light is off and I'm digging in.

Happy Halloween King Falls!
@KingFallsAM
@KingFallsSammy
@KingFallsTroy
iTunes

King Falls AM is trending on audioBoom and is an iTunes New & Noteworthy Podcast
Please REVIEW, RATE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE your favorite lonely mountain AM Talk Radio show with any people or apparitions that might enjoy it!

Red Rum Roses & Billionaire Bullies by Ben Arnold

The following is an editorial written by Ben Arnold, co-host of King Falls AM's Sammy & Ben Show. It does not express the views or belief's of The King Falls Gazette or it's staff.

Hey guys & girls, Ben Arnold from King Falls AM, that's 660 on the AM dial here. I had a few minutes of spare time and a few hours of pent up rage so I thought I would write an OPEN LETTER about the last couple weeks here at the station and in The Falls in general.

First off, there was discussion from a certain only-comes-out-at-night, eccentric, dusty, bag o' bones billionare (who may or may not be a vampire) ... no names here, who said that King Falls AM might possibly be fabricating a story about a missing hiker just a couple weeks back.

Dear reader, I think if you and I can only agree on one thing, it would be this: that a certain only-comes-out-at-night, eccentric, dusty, bag o' bones billionare (who may or may not be a vampire) again, no names here, likes to stir the pot.

This, my friends, is the pot being stirred.

It is extremely well documented that on October 1st we received an anonymous call at the station alerting us to a cassette tape in our mailbox.

Against Sammy's wishes, I went and checked the mail and found said tape. We played the tape of what we assume to be the missing hiker, Lance McCord. Again, all factual. He stated his name, his whereabouts and the like.

Against MY wishes, Sammy continued on about the tape ... then against ALL of our wishes the tape continued on ... without being plugged in.

Godspeed Lance, wherever you are.

I know there are a few people out there in the world that think the worst of Sammy & I. That we aren't here for our community but only for ratings. HA! If that were the case, Sammy wouldn't have come to our tiny town and I would have left years ago.

I love King Falls and I'm proud to say I can call most of you friends, the ones that don't attack us ... or live on the S.S. Backstabber.

Let me clear the air and say that nothing we do is fabricated. Big deals get made about the Tim Jensens, the Lance McCords but nobody makes a stink about the hour we spend talking to Maury Williams from Maury's Magnet Memorial. What I'm saying is, these detractors FIND sensational issues to make deals of. They don't look at the human's behind the issues or the fact these issues are thrust upon myself & Sammy.

So the next time a billionaire writes an editorial about your friendly late night AM talk radio show, remember he's the same guy who left 2,500 white roses at our doorstep. Please remember he's the guy selling an e-book that is running down our fair town, mangling history & spectral phenomenons alike. Also, and I'm not saying this in print about anyone in particular, but can you really ever trust a VAMPIRE? I thought not.

Sammy & I bare it all from 2-6am every weeknight, we are open books. Maybe be weary of the guy you never see around town but is always watching from up the mountain. Using his wealth & power to drive the little guy off land, or in this case, the air.

If you've got issues with what I'm saying Beauregard, give us a call, anytime 424.279.3858.

And please don't send Pete to do your dirty work, dropping off Redrum Roses or otherwise.

@KingFallsAM
@KingFallsSammy
@KingFallsTroy
iTunes

King Falls AM is trending on audioBoom and is an iTunes New & Noteworthy Podcast
Please REVIEW, RATE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE your favorite lonely mountain AM Talk Radio show with any people or apparitions that might enjoy it!

Hiker Hoax? I Believe so. by Howard Ford Beauregard III

The following is an editorial written by Howard Ford Beauregard III. It does not express the views or belief's of The King Falls Gazette or it's staff.

Rumors & speculation have been running rampant in King Falls the past week, as the story of a missing hiker named Lance McCord, splits our mountain community in two.

King Falls, voted Best Small Town in America for the sixth straight year this past January, is a wholesome and lovely town. However there is a small & vocal minority who believes there is evil afoot in our idyllic sanctuary.

For the past six months, King Falls has been under the spell of two immature & irresponsible radio hosts, Samuel Stevens & Benjamin Arnold of King Falls AM infamy. These two, dare I say, knuckleheads have been running roughshod over our wonderful community from 2am to 6am nightly, slandering town leaders, rumor-mongering over false information and, from what my good friend Mayor Grisham has told me, even possibly fabricating stories for their own benefit!

This leads me back to the hiker or adventurer or ... FAKE PERSON, as I like to call him, Lance McCord.

Apparently on October 1st, King Falls AM let their resident radio tallywhackers run a cassette tape to the listening public that they supposedly "found" in a "mail box", whatever that means. Of course, per usual, it has caused an uproar within the town.

There is no evidence of a hiker or missing person named Lance McCord. There is nothing to think this trip to Perdition Wood and the Devil's Doorstep is anything more than a plea from two desperate fiends, hoping for even more public attention. Yet, Stevens & Arnold are allowed to go on-air and cause mischief for the sole purpose of ratings! It should be a crime!

Maybe it is a crime.

Note to self, call Sheriff Gunderson.

And of course, these two buffoons have a following now, here in town. Why? I couldn't begin to even tell you. From what my man, Pete, tells me they even have a small contingent of listeners spreading outside the city limits into the world where they can further disparage the name of our town, myself and others; running us through the mud and causing chaos & calamity every step of the way.

I've been around the block a time or two, children. My shoulders are broad and can easily carry the weight of the trouble these two feeble-minded shock-jocks attempt to bring to myself and my family, however I feel terrible for the lowlies who aren't as strong as I, whose names they deride and attack on a nightly basis, seemingly for ratings and sheer enjoyment.

I believe deeply that these two, and the supporters of King Falls AM, must be stopped.

Yes.

They must be stopped.

Howard Ford Beauregard III

We here at the King Falls Gazette would love to know if you agree or disagree with Mr. Howard Ford Beauregard III. Drop us a line here at the paper, or feel free to contact Sammy & Ben, weeknights from 2am to 6am on King Falls AM, 660 on the radio dial.

@KingFallsSammy
@KingFallsAM
iTunes

King Falls AM is trending on audioBoom and is an iTunes New & Noteworthy Podcast
Please REVIEW, RATE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE your favorite lonely mountain AM Talk Radio show with any people and/or apparitions that may enjoy it!

Controversial Strip Mall Deal Goes Through

By: Linda Morris

Staff Writer

Despite a packed house of King Falls residents objecting to the development plans of a new shopping plaza, Mayor Grisham, along with the city council, has unanimously voted to go through with the plans of the Super Six Shopping Plaza, that includes a pizzeria, a nail salon, as well as a permanent home for Reverend Xavier Hawthorne's growing congregation. Just last month, Reverend Hawthorne finished a record-breaking five week long revival at the King Falls festival grounds.

"It's important to give the people of King Falls a place to both worship and enjoy themselves. Jesus and a slice of pizza is just what the people of this town need," the reverend said during the meeting.

The largest objection to the shopping plaza is with the investment company, Johnson Investments. The investment company has been contacting residents along Shepherd Lane, the proposed building location. Some have questioned the company's tactics, like resident Brett Adams. "They've called me every single day for the past month. They keep threatening to go through the courts to get me to sell my land." During his time to speak at the city council meeting, Adams quoted that the investment company contacted him 42 times in the last two weeks.

Johnson Investments is a new start up company located in nearby Big Pine. The Reverend Hawthorne has ties to the investment company; both he and his brother-in-law Phillip Johnson are on the board of directors. Residents are calling attention to the funding from the investment company. "I don't see how a pastor and a car mechanic have this kind of money, is all I'm saying," stated Mindy Burris, a teacher at King Falls Elementary.

Both Reverend Hawthorne and Johnson Investments have declined to comment on any of the proposed plans with the shopping plaza, and have instead sent over a copy of the plaza plans and a copy of the city council ruling.

.

.

Be sure to catch King Falls AM, a New & Noteworthy show on iTunes, at 660 on the AM Dial, as well as many of their fine affiliate stations!

The Sammy Stevens Chronicles - Part One

by Sammy Stevens
Guest Writer - King Falls AM

So the fine folks here at The King Falls Gazette have been asking me over the past month or so to put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard in this case, and chronicle my time here in the beautiful town of King Falls.

If you aren't familiar with me, my name is Sammy Stevens and I'm a host here locally at King Falls AM, that's 660 on the AM dial. I moved to town on May 1st of this year, just in time to start my new job as AM Talk Show host extraordinaire for the 2am to 6am time-slot, previously held by local legend Diamond Dave Alvarez.

I've been all over this great country of ours, doing everything from the hourly traffic and weather to laughing at terrible DJ Dad jokes and blowing kazoos, so you can bet I jumped at the chance to finally do what I've wanted to do my entire life, and that was talk radio.

It's not that I have a whole lot to say, mind you, which is why it's taken me into my third month to finally get this column started here at The Gazette. But just that I love talking to people. I love hearing everyone's personal story of who they are and how they got exactly where they were the moment they decided to call into the station and speak with us.

Us, in this instance, is myself and my producer/co-host Ben Arnold. He's the real deal, a consummate professional who loves his job but also loves the town he's reporting in. When I think about the past few months here in King Falls, that's who I think about. A guy with all the talent in the world, with big hopes and dreams, staying in this beautiful little mountain town to report on the things that matter to him and to the King Falls listeners.

And make no bones about it, Ben would be up in arms that I'm "wasting" my time writing about him instead of myself here, but I think his story is now becoming my story too. He says he's learning a lot from me, about talking with the callers, about dealing with the sponsors but I'd say I'm learning just as much, if not more, from him.

King Falls, you're lucky to have such a faithful son working for and with you, to make this town such a wonderful place to call home.

If I haven't put you kids to sleep yet with my rambling, I'd like to add that in future editions of this column, I'd love to have you send in questions, about me or the show or experiences here that I can answer. I'm far from the most exciting person you'll ever meet, but again, I do love talking with you all, so maybe we can do that too?

It's been a long night here at the station, I'm writing this at my desk with the sun coming up over the trees and thoughts of Tim Jensen and other peculiar things we talked about this evening are crossing my mind. I think this is where the inaugural edition of "The Sammy Stevens' Chronicles" is gonna end today.

Be well, King Falls, and I hope to hear from you soon.

@KingFallsSammy
@KingFallsAM
King Falls AM Hotline: 424.279.3858
iTunes

King Falls AM is an iTunes New & Noteworthy Podcast!
Please REVIEW, RATE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE your favorite lonely mountain AM Talk Radio show with any people and/or apparitions that may use iTunes!

Jenson Still Missing, No New Leads

By Linda Morris

Staff Writer - King Falls Gazette

After weeks of searching every field and forest in the greater King Falls area, local man Tim Jensen is still listed as a missing person with the King Falls Sheriff's Department. Hundreds of man hours have been spent walking every inch of Highway 72 where the man disappeared in what some locals are calling an alien abduction.

According to eyewitnesses, a strange light was seen headed towards the woods on Highway 72 leading into town. Susan Crowder, hairstylist at Tail and Mane Salon saw the lights firsthand stating, “I saw it with my own eyes! I was out on my porch drinking with some girlfriends, and I remember thinking it was one of those SWAT helicopters looking for a drug addict or something. But it had to be aliens.”

Betty Snider, a waitress at Rose's Diner confirms, “We were all sitting around drinking daiquiris and the sky lit up like Christmas. All sorts of lights. It looked just like a UFO I saw on the Discovery Channel once.”

Many town residents aren't really sure what to think of Mr. Jensen's disappearance. King Falls High School science teacher Larry Thompson is cautious of calling this an alien abduction. “It is quite possible that neither of these events had anything to do with each other. There are plenty of reasons why there would be lights, it might have been as simple as planes from the air force base practicing formations. Aliens would be the last thing I'd pin this on.”

Route 72 - Near Clower Street

Although the physical search has now been called off, the hunt for information continues. The King Falls Sheriff's Department continues to field calls on the tip line that has been set up in hopes of finding any clues that could lead to the whereabouts of Tim Jenson. So far all leads have gone cold. “We get about five or six calls a day, mostly just asking if we have anything,” states Deputy Troy Krieghauser. “King Falls remains hopeful that we will find Tim Jensen.”

Tim Jensen disappeared over two months ago while coming home late from his job on Highway 72. He famously disappeared while on the phone with King Falls AM radio host Sammy Stephens. Jensen reported that he saw three triangular shapes with bright lights just before the phone line went dead. He was a 32 year old factory worker. His wife Mary urges anyone with any information to call the tip line. “He's been gone over two months now. He'll be 33 in September. We are hoping for his safe return.” There is also a donation being taken up by King Falls Baptist Church to help Jensen's family.